Sunday, January 23, 2011

Staying On The Balance Beam

In my last post I spoke of balance and the importance of achieving balance in life.  I also mentioned that I have been extremely unsuccessful in gaining a sense of balance in my life.  Now I am faced with a short term balancing act that I have been playing with over the last week or so.  As Pashto language training draws to a close, my time is torn by a number of competing requirements that are all important and all take a significant amount of time.  So, I have jumped on the balance beam and I am attempting to walk across, teetering back and forth, arms outstretched trying not to look at anything but the end of the beam.  Some of the requirements include:


-Complete Pashto training.  Because my follow-on training requirement has been moved up, I am finishing language school about ten days before my classmates.  So, instead of being in class until the first week of February, I will be finished on Wednesday the 26th of January.  Which means I have two days of class left.  Which means in three days I will go sit at an unfamiliar desk in an unfamiliar office and speak on the phone with an unfamiliar voice for thirty to sixty minutes...all in Pashto.  Unfortunately my last practice session for this did not go well.  I was speaking with an instructor on the phone that I had never spoke with before so his voice was unfamiliar.  He spoke in the southwestern dialect so I had to adjust my brain to listen for that particular dialect.  Mostly I just choked.  I got nervous and when I couldn't understand something he was saying I would try to answer what I think he was asking me.  I was not always correct in my guesses.  After awhile, my mind went blank because I was so caught up on my past mistakes, and before I knew it I could barely speak English, much less Pashto.  The only thing worse than that twenty minutes was the twenty minutes I spent listening to a recording of the conversation.  Absolutely nothing worse than having to listen to yourself stumble through an awkward conversation in a foreign language.  The annoying thing was, as I listened to it I understood pretty much everything he said.  It is much easier when there is no pressure.  So, I am attempting to mix the right amount of vocabulary review, verb conjugation, speaking practice and listening practice to ensure I can sit down at that desk and speak with an unknown person with confidence.  It is truly amazing how well I form Pashto sentences in my noggin and how I can think the sentences through at lightning speed, but when I try to speak them the speed and clarity is slowed down to the pace of a snail...or a turtle perhaps....lying on it's back on the beach....swaying back and forth trying to right itself....sorry...I digress.   But there must be some sort of valve or switch between my brain and my mouth that slows everything down or makes me second guess myself as the words work their way toward my vocal cords.  Hmmm.  Last week I stayed an extra hour after class to work one on one (yao bondi yao) with my instructors.  I also started to drive to school to cut down the commute time.  Driving takes a good hour off the normal commute of taking the Metro.  Monday and Tuesday will be just speaking, over and over again.  Conversation to get comfortable understanding the speaker and providing correct responses.

-Getting in shape.  In another week and a half I will have mandatory physical training on a National Guard base in Indiana at five o'clock every morning.  Then, starting in March I will be training everyday with my team of which I am pretty confident I will be one of the oldest if not the oldest in the bunch.  I cannot let them down and I cannot let myself down.  I have been keeping a general state of fitness but not to the level I need.  In fact, if I lose thirty pounds I will not miss them in the least.  This past week I have started daily doubles, jogging to the gym in the morning, working with weights and then jogging back home.  In the evening I drive to the gym and spend time on the treadmill, elliptical and bike (Funny thing, when I was on the elliptical last night they were showing "National Treasure Part II" on one of the many televisions.  One of the critical scenes showed Nicholas Cage, Ed Harris and a couple of others attempting to balance on a large slab of rock that was sitting on top of a thin piece of wood.  Balance issues...they are all over the place)!  Of course, this schedule has great potential for burning me out completely, but I will only be following it for another week or so.  No problem.


-Getting ready for training/Afghanistan.  The Army was nice enough to send me a box of books to read.  Some of them are directives and guidance on how to conduct operations in Afghanistan, some are Army Field Manuals and others are books on the history of Afghanistan, counter-insurgency, understanding the enemy, etc.  Although I have had these orders since last summer, I just received these books along with an email stating that I had to read some of them prior to my first trip to Afghanistan, which is in less than three weeks, and the rest of them by the first of April.  Thanks.  So the good thing is I get a box of free books.  The annoying thing is I had already bought a number of them.  The reading will begin as soon as I get through my "phone call" on Wednesday. 

-Spending time with friends and family.  This has been the most difficult and probably the most important.  I flew home for the recent three day weekend and it was well worth the travel time and spending a couple of days with Midori and Sean.  I have tried to use Skype to talk to Sara and Bob and even Mom but this is the thing that seems to fall off the plate at the end of the day. Speaking with Midori and Sean, Sara and Bob, Mom, my brothers and sisters, friends, it doesn't always happen as much as a would like.   I am writing this from the dining room table of my brother David.  I figured I could spend the day here with David, Marybeth and Emma, while studying some Pashto, maybe watch some football and update this nonsensical blog.  There are so many people I wanted to see before I head out but I don't know when or if that will happen.  I will have to work that into the last few days in DC prior to heading to Indiana.

Of course, there are a thousand other requirements I have to take care of...moving out of the man cave in Arlington, figuring out how to wear an Army uniform so that I don't embarrass myself (too late), getting some sleep, checking out from the Navy Yard, checking out from Defense Language School, oh and going to the dentist to take care of this excrutiatingly painful toothache I have.  In fact I will probably miss half a day of school tomorrow if I can get in to the dentist.  The timing is wonderful.  So much for the two final days of Pashto conversation practice.  Perhaps I can practice when the dentist has his hands in my mouth.

So, three weeks until I head over to Afghanistan for the first time...holy crap!  I can't wait.  It has been over a year since I started thinking about doing this so it will be good to finally move closer to the goal.  If only I can stay on this beam without falling off.

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